Emily Bustamante has prided herself on staying out of the limelight, leaving it to her man, rapper Fabolous, to take the shine and build the buzz for his brand. With her participation in the VH1 reality series Love & Hip Hop, her personal life, including her career and her relationship with Fab, has been thrust into the court of public opinion where everyone has been giving their two cents about her situation.
Bitchie Life recently sat down with Emily and she discussed everything from the evolution of her 9 year relationship with Fabolous, how watching her relationship on the show affects her daughter and if she plans to do a season 2. She also explained what happened during the episode where she was stood up by Fabolous during the family photo shoot. Check out the excerpts below:
On John the person vs. Fabolous the Rapper
My thing was, I been with Fab for so many years and from the beginning, before I had a child with him, I kinda played the background role. It was always this is his career and this is his persona and this is his image, and I respected it because at the end of the day that’s his brand and his brand is Fabulous this rapper – with all the swag and the money and the bling and the women. That’s his image, and it’s kinda like, where does a family fit into that image, are you rapping about that? Where does that come in? So, I kinda just left it alone. But the first time it affected me, I was listening to him on the radio, I said this before in another interview. I was driving and he was on Angie Martinez and Angie was like, “Are you single?” And he was like, “Like a dollar bill,” and my heart dropped. I was like, “Omg, this is real, this is John on the radio. I hear his voice, it wasn’t a rap song. It was actually him saying it out his mouth,” and I immediately texted him, and he was like don’t listen to the radio. That’s Fabulous trying to make it seem like this is his persona and why was I getting upset, and from there it was like, I accepted it so it continued on. And I didn’t realize it hurt so much until I had to talk about it on the show. I swept it under the rug and then when I actually had to talk about it, it was like, ‘Maybe this isn’t right.’ I think at the end of the day his real thing is he’s private. You don’t really hear a lot of them talking about their life. He’s like, ‘Listen this is my personal life. This is my home and my family I don’t want that in the public.’
On Getting Stood Up By Fab During The Family Photo Shoot
The honest truth is, it wasn’t that he stood me up. I knew he wasn’t coming. Of course, I told him that I had the shoot and that the video cameras were gonna be there, but I knew from the jump that he wasn’t gonna be there so it wasn’t that I was waiting for him to show up and he just didn’t come. I don’t know if that’s how it came across, but he would never stand me up. He wouldn’t do that. And I do want to clarify that he’s a great father. Sometimes I think people took from that, that he was a bad father but he’s not. He’s a great father and he loves his son and there’s nothing that he wouldn’t do for him, but it was just one of those things where he was like, “That’s your thing, I have my thing. I’m not on reality TV. I don’t need a reality show.” He was like, “I’m not going on reality TV. I’m a rapper, I’ve been doing this for 12 years. I’m in the peak of my career and I’m not into the TV drama,” but he was right. In the beginning I was like you don’t know what you’re talking about, there’s not gonna be any drama. And he was totally right. He was like, “I’m telling you, Emily.” Every day I would come home and tell him about what happened and he was like, “I told you so. I told you this was gonna happen.”
On how the show affects her daughter
As far as my situation with Fab, she only sees John at home and like I said, he’s not the same person that everybody else in this world sees. He’s a good father, he’s a family man. People don’t realize that so she sees this man that she loves and he loves her back, and he treats her good and she doesn’t see that side of him so she hasn’t really been affected. So, for me to have done this show is like, I opened up this whole other thing that she didn’t’ really know about. She’s 13 and she’s growing up and I just hope that she can learn from my mistakes as well; don’t be like me, be better than me. She knows, we talk a lot and I usually don’t even allow her to watch reality TV, but she watched this one. It’s difficult for me to allow her to watch it but it’s my story and I just hope she learns from it.
On If The Luxuries Of the Relationship Is What Makes Her Stay
No, because I work. I have a job, and not only that, I have a child by this man so I won’t be—people are like, “She doesn’t want to leave him because of the money,” but I’m good regardless because he’s gonna have to support his son, so it wasn’t ever about money. It was about the fact that I’m a mother with two children and I felt like I failed in my first relationship with my daughter’s father, and I just didn’t want to do that again to my son because I know how it affected her, so that was the main reason, not wanting to fail. I was with Fab since I was 21-years-old. I didn’t know any better when I was 21, when I was a young girl. I didn’t know how to make a relationship work, but me now at 30-years-old, I’m like, I’ve invested the last 9 years of my life into this. This is not something that I just got pregnant and had a baby. This is my life for the last 9 years, so it was just very hard to come to a decision of whether I should stay or whether I should go because I was just stuck. And I don’t recommend that to nobody.
What’s one of the biggest misconceptions people have of you, and how do you plan to change that?
I guess the biggest misconception was from the show, from the character they created. It was that I was naïve and that I was weak, or I was dumb and didn’t know what was going on in my life; but the truth is, there’s nothing you could tell me that I didn’t already know. I knew what was going on in my life and I was fully aware of it but I was in denial. I knew what it was, and it may not have been right in my decision with how I reacted to it, but I knew what it was and a lot of people judge me for that. I just feel like it was my story. Everybody has a story, like I said. There are so many single mothers out here and each of them have a story and not everybody is on TV talking about it. I’m just one of them that’s out there and talks about it and was 100% honest and women ridiculed me for it. I’m like, ‘That’s the past.’ I promise there was so much editing and the power of editing is incredible.